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Dead Serious Advertising Insights.

40 years of advertising experience. Written down so you can stop making the same expensive mistakes.

A cartoon zombie plumber stands at the open doors of his work van, proudly holding up a rusty old water heater beside a pile of corroded pipes spilling from a toolbox.
August 19, 2026

Your Plumbing Truck Is Full of Proof. Your Website Has None of It.

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Your Plumbing Truck Is Full of Proof. Your Website Has None of It.

You rip out a nightmare of galvanized pipe and rusted water heaters every single week. If nobody sees it, you're leaving the easiest sale in home services sitting on the truck.

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A zombie mascot sits at a messy desk, sorting stacked paper drafts into two trays and writing by hand with a pencil, with a small gear-shaped paperweight and a coffee mug nearby.
August 17, 2026

AI Won't Write Your Ads For You. Here's What It Actually Does.

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AI Won't Write Your Ads For You. Here's What It Actually Does.

Everyone's telling you AI will replace your marketing team. It won't. Here's the boring, useful truth about where AI actually saves you time in a real marketing workflow.

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A zombie mascot acts as a velvet-rope bouncer, holding back a line of eager readers while discarded fancy scrolls lie on the ground and a plain, welcoming doorway glows behind it.
August 14, 2026

Your Headline Isn't Clever. It's a Bouncer, and It's Turning People Away.

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Your Headline Isn't Clever. It's a Bouncer, and It's Turning People Away.

Most headlines are auditioning for a poetry slam when their only job is to stop the scroll. Here's the framework that actually gets the second sentence read.

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A zombie wearing a headset, stunned as a tiny chattering zombie-figurine assistant speaks for his business.
July 16, 2026

Nobody's Googling You Anymore. They're Asking a Robot What You're Like.

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Nobody's Googling You Anymore. They're Asking a Robot What You're Like.

A new local SEO checklist wants you to audit what AI says about your business, and the scarier problem is that most owners have never even looked.

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