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Dead Serious Advertising Insights.

40 years of advertising experience. Written down so you can stop making the same expensive mistakes.

A cartoon zombie plumber crouches in a crawlspace next to newly installed shiny pipe, snapping an instant photo with a retro camera while a rusty old pipe piece and toolbox sit nearby.
October 7, 2026

Your Plumbing Work Is Beautiful. Your Website Just Doesn't Prove It.

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Your Plumbing Work Is Beautiful. Your Website Just Doesn't Prove It.

You crawled under that house, replaced 40 feet of rotted cast iron, and made it look easy. If you didn't take a picture, it never happened. Here's why your before/after gallery might be the highest-converting page on your site and you don't even have one.

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A zombie mascot calmly sorts glowing idea-shaped paper scraps into labeled wire baskets along a workbench assembly line, stamping a finished stack while a bin of tangled, chaotic notes overflows nearby.
October 5, 2026

The AI Marketing Workflow That Actually Works (No Hype, Just the Steps)

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The AI Marketing Workflow That Actually Works (No Hype, Just the Steps)

Everybody's yelling about AI "revolutionizing" marketing. Here's what it's actually good for, what it's still bad at, and the exact workflow we run every day.

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A zombie mascot holds up a large banner that visibly fades into invisibility partway across, reaching out as if trying to catch the disappearing part, surrounded by crumpled paper drafts on the ground.
September 30, 2026

Your Headline Isn't Boring, It's Invisible: A Copywriting Fix

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Your Headline Isn't Boring, It's Invisible: A Copywriting Fix

Most headlines don't fail because they're bad. They fail because nobody reads past the first four words. Here's how to write ones people actually finish.

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A cartoon zombie electrician holds up a flickering lamp to examine a cobweb-covered, faded storefront sign in a cluttered garage, with a locked, shiny new toolbox visible behind a fence in the background.
September 28, 2026

Your Electrical Company Is Invisible on Google. Here's Why That's Costing You Panel Upgrades

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Your Electrical Company Is Invisible on Google. Here's Why That's Costing You Panel Upgrades

Somebody in your town is searching "electrician near me" right now. If your Google Business Profile looks like it did in 2019, they're calling your competitor instead.

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