Bowl Games Gone Wild (But Should They?)

Remember life years ago, you know, we refer to it as back in the day? (Enter dream sequence music in your head).

Ah, yes, the good old days of bowl game names. It was a simpler time, a time before everything was for sale.

Back in the day, bowl games were named after things like fruit (Peach Bowl), flowers (Rose Bowl), mother nature (Sun Bowl), fibrous plants (Cotton Bowl), and baking supplies (Sugar Bowl). Bowl games were fairly straightforward and easy to remember.

I long for those days.

Nowadays, it seems like bowl game organizers and the companies that purchase bowl game naming rights are trying to outdo each other with the most absurd, ridiculous names they can come up with. And while some of these names may be catchy or memorable, it’s not in a good way. They lack the simple elegance of the old-school bowl game names.

It seems like every year, we're introduced to a whole new batch of absurd names. Take the Guaranteed Rate Bowl, for example. I mean, seriously, what kind of name is that for a bowl game? Does the winner get to lock in a guaranteed mortgage rate ahead of time? I'm sure that would be a nice bonus, but somehow I doubt that's what the sponsors had in mind.

Bowl game names have gotten downright stupid. I mean, seriously, who came up with the idea for the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl? Or the Cheribundi Tart Cherry Boca Raton Bowl? It's like the people naming these games smoked a bowl with Snoop before naming the bowl.

It's not just the ridiculous names that bug me. It's also the sheer number of bowl games. There are so many games now it's hard to keep track of them all. And with such a proliferation of bowl games comes an even greater proliferation of stupid game names.

But the bowl game name that takes the cake for me is the TaxSlayer Gator Bowl. Say it again; only this time, say it like you're doing a monster truck radio ad. I mean, come on. TaxSlayer? Is that really the best corporate sponsor they could find? And what does a tax preparation software company have to do with a bowl game, anyway? I guess the highest bidder wins, no matter what. Thankfully FTX is out of the running for the FTX Fraud And Bankruptcy Bowl.

Even though I am in the ad business, I am livid with the blatant commercialism of everything having naming rights. In recent years, we've seen bowl games sponsored by everything from fast-food chains to beer companies. Even uniforms carry advertising and sponsorships these days. And while I'm all for a good sponsorship deal, there's something a little bit off-putting about a bowl game being sponsored by a chain like Buffalo Wild Wings or Tampax. It feels a little too commercial for my taste.

As ridiculous as all of these bowl game names and sponsorships may be, there's one bowl game I've been waiting on for years, no, decades, and I am surprised no one has thought of it yet, The Ty-D-Bowl. Can you imagine the excitement of a bowl game with a name like that? The possibilities for halftime entertainment are endless. We could have a team of custodial workers competing in a janitorial toilet cleaning challenge or a halftime show featuring a giant toilet bowl parade float with colorful Ty-D-Bowl blue water streaming toward the sky. At least the game's name makes sense and connects commercially but in an almost organic way.

So, here's hoping that in the future, bowl game organizers will take a step back and consider more dignified, respectful names for their games. And while we're at it, let's make The Ty-D-Bowl a reality. It may be the only bowl game left with a shred of dignity without feeling too commercial.