Argentina Was Ripped Off In The FIFA World Cup

As a casual observer and not a raving fan of soccer (or football, as the rest of the world calls it), I have to say… it was a thrill to see Argentina and Messi finally win the FIFA World Cup. It was a long time coming, and they more than earned it.

But as I watched them lift the World Cup trophy, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of disappointment. Don't get me wrong, it was a momentous occasion and the players deserved every bit of celebration. But as I looked at the trophy, I couldn't help but think, "Is that it? Is that the best we can do?"

I mean, compare the World Cup trophy to some of the other major American sports trophies: the Super Bowl trophy, the World Series trophy, and the Stanley Cup. These trophies have some heft and girth! They tower over the World Cup trophy, making it look like a toy in comparison. It's like the other trophies are the grown-ups and the World Cup trophy is the little kid trying to keep up.

And don't even get me started on the Stanley Cup. I mean, seriously, why is it the largest trophy of them all? Ice hockey is the least popular sport, for crying out loud! It's like the Stanley Cup is trying to make up for its lack of popularity with an oversized trophy. It's like the trophy equivalent of a small dog barking loudly to compensate for its lack of size.

Now, I know what you might be thinking: "But the World Cup is an international event! It represents the best of the best from countries all around the globe!" And sure, that's a valid point. But come on, let's be real here. The Super Bowl is a pretty big deal too. The World Series and Stanley Cup also bring together the best of the best from different countries (okay, fine, just the United States and Canada, but still). These sports deserve a trophy that reflects the magnitude of their achievements.

And let's not forget the fact that soccer is the most popular sport in the world. If the World Cup trophy is supposed to represent the pinnacle of soccer achievement, shouldn't it be the biggest and baddest trophy of them all? I mean, think about it: If the World Cup trophy was as big as the Stanley Cup, it would be almost impossible to lift — let alone fit in the carry-on bin of an airplane. Now that would be something to see!

So here's my proposal: let's make the World Cup trophy the biggest of them all. And while we're at it, let's make the Stanley Cup a little more proportionate to the popularity of ice hockey. Because, let's face it, size does matter when it comes to trophies. And if we're going to celebrate the achievements of the world's best athletes, we should do it with a trophy that truly reflects their greatness.