Habit Muscles Over Resolutions

2023 arrived with the usual fanfare, partying, and resolutions… those dreaded resolutions.

I stopped making resolutions years ago because I sucked at keeping them. Let’s face it, most of us suck at them.

I prefer building my habit muscles over resolutions.

Habits Versus Resolutions

Have you ever noticed that some things come easily to you while other things are a struggle? For example, you might be able to ride a bike or tie your shoes without much thought, but learning a new language or instrument can be much more challenging. This is because certain activities have become habits for you, while others are new and require more effort and focus.

For me, resolutions require more effort and focus than building habit muscles. Some of you will say it’s the same thing, but I disagree. We make resolutions or statements that are unattainable for most of us, so we fail… pretty quickly.

Habits are actions or behaviors we do automatically without much thought. They are like muscles – the more we use them, the stronger they become. For example, think about how hard it was to ride a bike the first time you tried it. You probably fell a few times and had to concentrate really hard to pedal and steer simultaneously. But now, riding a bike is probably second nature to you. You can do it automatically without having to think about it. That's because you have built up your "habit muscle" for biking.

Similarly, you might be able to drive a car and chew gum at the same time because you have built up your habit muscle for these activities. They have become automatic for you, so they don't require much effort or focus.

On the other hand, when we try to do something new or change an old habit, it takes more effort and focus. This is because our brains have to work harder to remember to do the new thing or change the old habit. We have to "exercise" our habit muscles to make them stronger.

So why is it so hard to stick to new habits or change old ones? One reason is that it takes time and effort to build up our habit muscles, just like it takes time and effort to build up physical muscles. It's important to be patient and keep at it, even when it's hard.

Another reason it can be hard to stick to new habits is that we often try to do too much too quickly. Just like it's important to start small when exercising physical muscles, it's important to start small when building habit muscles. For example, if you want to start exercising regularly, it might be tempting to try to run a marathon right away. But this might be too much for your habit muscles to handle, and you might get frustrated and give up. Instead, it might be better to start by walking for 15 minutes a day, gradually increasing the time and intensity as your habit muscles get stronger.

I’m All In. But Should I Be?

I am an all-or-nothing person, which makes me highly susceptible to failure. I can’t do a toe in the water. I am all in, or I am not doing it. It’s only taken me 55 years to realize how I’ve failed myself with that approach. I look for the end result on day one, so I go hard—so hard I can’t sustain it. Then I fail and beat myself up. Lather, rinse, repeat.

As a writer, I’ve become habitual at my craft by writing something each and every day. I didn’t make a resolution or proclamation to do this. I simply started doing it. Some days, I wrote the shittiest thing ever. Other days, I wrote magic. The point is I’ve built a habit muscle and continue to build it by doing. Yes, there are some days I can’t write. The day I had shoulder surgery at 7 AM was one of those. Did I beat myself up over it? Nope. I realize it’s unrealistic to think I can do this without fail, so I celebrate the days I do, which is about 350 days of the year.

Finally, it can be hard to stick to new habits because we often face distractions and setbacks. For example, you might be doing well at exercising regularly, but then you get sick and have to take a few days off. That shit derailed me when I made a resolution because it broke the pattern of the thing I was doing. It's essential to be flexible and not get too discouraged by setbacks. Just like you would when exercising physical muscles, it's important to take a break when you need to and then get back to it when you're feeling better.

So how can you build up your habit muscles and stick to new habits? Here are a few tips:

1 Start small – it's important to set small, achievable goals at first. This will help you build up your habit muscles gradually. Don’t try to fast 24 hours straight if you’ve never fasted before.

2 Be consistent – try to do your new habit at the same time every day. This will help it become a part of your routine. Show up at the gym at 7 AM and try to be there at 7 every day you want to work out.

3 Stay focused – it can be hard to stick to new habits when there are so many distractions. Try to find a quiet place to do your new habit, or use tools like a timer or a planner to help you stay focused. I like apps so I can gamify the experience.

4 Be patient – building up your habit muscles takes time. It's important to be patient and keep at it, even when it's hard. You might not bench press 100 pounds during your first workout, but you can now do 50 pounds.

5 Celebrate small wins – 10 Push-ups are better than 0, and fasting for 12 hours is better than 2; a 50-pound bench press is better than 5.

Building habit muscles is hard work, but it's worth it. By starting small, making your new habit a daily routine, tracking your progress, getting support, and being patient, you can build up your habit muscles and make lasting changes in your life. Don't give up. Keep working towards your goals!

You will make mistakes; I do daily. But, over time, you’ll build some strong new habits.